more from the Spiritual Zen

November 28, 2009

a great message and timeless advice, ladyJ
Lady Jz Talk Zone


Spiritual Zen

Avoiding Family Drama Over the Holidays

Posted: 26 Nov 2009 01:46 PM PST

Baboon family

The smell of turkey roasting in the oven. How wonderful. My wife and I decided to spend most of Thanksgiving day with just ourselves, here at home. It was fun getting up early, just the two of us and making the stuffing (my moms recipe). It was actually the first time I’ve ever really stuffed it inside the bird. We got a 22 lb turkey… seems awful big for just the two of us. My step-son, his wife and our granddaughter will be over later, so we’re cooking up a feast for them and ourselves. Saturday morning we leave for a week vacation in Cozumel so the kids will be staying here all week to consume the leftovers. It worked out well.

Most years we travel to see family, which can sometimes be stressful. This time of year I hear it a lot, how family stresses people out. My family usually gets together for the normal holidays, there’s only about 15 to 20 of us regulars. I come from a small family, just one sibling, so it’s pretty low key. My wife’s family is larger and she has quite a bit of experience and wisdom when it comes to dealing with family. So we put our heads together and came up with a few ideas of how best to handle family members that seem to get under our skin around the holidays.

Avoid It
Maybe avoiding family members who irritate us seems obvious, and to some, selfish; but lets think about it. Remember that you are not responsible for someone else’s feelings. With that said, you should never do something that deliberately hurts someone either. We all have a right to say no.

We often travel to see family over the holidays even when we don’t want to. I know, I know, family is all we really have right? The least we can do is suffer through the resentment and guilt only family members know how to surgically inflict. We hurt the ones we love right?

At what point do we stop trying to improve relationships, family or not, that do not seem to add value or grow in any positive direction? That question really becomes hard when dealing with family. But isn’t family about unconditional love and being there no matter what? I guess I just struggle sometimes with the whole “we should go visit family” mentality when it only causes resentment and anger. Life is too short for things like that. With that said, I am the first one there when a family member really needs me… but then how will I know if they really need me if I don’t work at a relationship with them? Hmmm, seems like a paradox. What do you think?

To some family members, drama is like oxygen. You know the ones who just can’t help themselves? The uncle who constantly brings up the time he bailed you out of jail or that everyone is sure the cousin who moved to California has joined a cult. When the zingers start flying, you have a choice to participate or not. The best way to deal with these situations is come up with a plan!

Have A Plan
Decide before hand how you’re going to handle the uncomfortable situations that always seem to get to you. Talk about your strategy with your spouse or immediate family members. Being prepared is the best way to handle stressful situations with grace and dignity. One of the best ways of diffusing uncomfortable situations is with kindness. If your uncle brings up the time he bailed you out of jail, tell him thanks, and that you really appreciated him being there for you. (and avoid the sarcasm) No, my uncle never bailed me out of jail… not that I wasn’t ever in jail, but it was my dad who had to come get me and now that I think about it, I need to thank him for that.

Remember, your family members know how to push your buttons better than anyone. Be prepared and have a plan.

Be understanding rather than understood
I guess it all really changes when you have children. Which I don’t, but I do have a granddaughter and step-son/daughter, whom I’m beginning to love. It makes me feel good when they want to hang out with us and stop by to visit or stay for dinner. So maybe dealing with family members over the holiday’s has a lot to do with “be understanding rather than understood.” Try and understand where your mother-in-law or parents are coming from when they insist you come to visit. Even if you don’t want to. At the same time, we also need to watch for resentments which only bitter the relationship.

Sometimes we just have to remind ourselves that we’re grown ups and can do what we want. This can be hard when our parents can still push those guilt buttons. A good test is to think about what memories you have or will have of times spent with loved ones. I have many good memories of times spent with my cousins and parents over the holidays, but none with just me and my wife. Until today.

In the end, memories are all we have anyway, so spend time making good ones.

photo credit: Tambako the Jaguar
If you’re wondering why I chose a picture of baboons… well, honestly, I hate looking for pictures for these posts on flickr. I got tired of looking for one of a family… and I like baboons. It’s the worst part about posting; I’ll spend twice as long looking for the right picture as I do writing the post. I guess I just need to bite the bullet and pay for some stock photo site.

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You all remember Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Arizona , who painted the jail cells pink and made the inmates wear pink prison garb.  Well . . .


Oh, there’s MUCH more to know about Sheriff Joe!

Maricopa County was spending approximately $18 million a year on stray animals, like cats and dogs.  Sheriff Joe offered to take the department over, and the County Supervisors approved.
The animal shelters are now all staffed and operated by prisoners.  They feed and care for the strays.  Every animal in his care is taken out and walked twice daily.  He now has prisoners who are experts in animal nutrition and behavior. They give great classes for anyone who would like to adopt an animal.  He has literally taken stray dogs off the street, given them to the care of prisoners, and had them place in dog shows.

The best part?  His budget for the entire department is now under $3 million. Teresa and I adopted a Weimaraner from a Maricopa County shelter two years ago. He was neutered, and current on all shots, in great health, and even had a microchip inserted the day we got him. Cost us $78..

The prisoners get the benefit of about $0.28 an hour for working, but most would work for free, just to be out of their cells for the day.  Most of his budget is for utilities, building maintenance, etc.  He pays the prisoners out of the fees collected for adopted animals.
I have long wondered when the rest of the country would take a look at the way he runs his jail system, and copy some of his ideas.  He has a huge farm, donated to the county years ago, where inmates can work, and they grow most of their own fresh vegetables and food, doing all the work and harvesting by hand.

He has a pretty good-sized hog farm, which provides meat, and fertilizer.  It fertilizes the Christmas tree nursery, where prisoners work, and you can buy a living Christmas tree for $6-$8 for the Holidays, and plant it later.  We have six trees in our yard from the Prison.
Yup, he was re-elected last year with 83% of the vote.  Now he’s in trouble with the ACLU again.  He painted all his buses and vehicles with a mural, that has a special hotline phone number painted on it, where you can call and report suspected illegal aliens.  Immigrations and Customs Enforcement wasn’t doing enough in his eyes, so he had 40 deputies trained specifically for enforcing immigration laws, started up his hotline, and bought four new buses just for hauling folks back to the border.  He’s kind of a ‘Git-R Dun’ kind of Sheriff.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio (in Arizona ), who created the ‘Tent City Jail,’ has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.
He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails, took away their weights, and cut off all but ‘G’ movies.

He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects.
Then He Started Chain Gangs For Women So He Wouldn’t Get Sued For Discrimination.
He took away cable TV Until he found out there was A Federal Court Order that Required Cable TV For Jails.  So He Hooked Up The Cable TV Again Only Let In The Disney Channel And The Weather Channel.

When asked why the weather channel, He Replied ‘So They Will Know How Hot It’s Gonna Be While They Are Working On My Chain Gangs.’
He Cut Off Coffee Since It Has Zero Nutritional Value.
When the inmates complained, he told them, ‘This Isn’t The Ritz-Carlton . . . If You Don’t Like It, Don’t Come Back.’
More On The Arizona Sheriff:
With Temperatures Being Even Hotter Than Usual In Phoenix (116 Degrees Just Set A New Record), the Associated Press Reports:  About 2,000 Inmates Living In A Barbed-Wire-Surrounded Tent Encampment At The Maricopa County Jail Have Been Given Permission To Strip Down To Their Government-Issued Pink Boxer Shorts.
On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached 138 Degrees Inside The Week Before.
Many Were Also Swathed In Wet, Pink Towels As Sweat Collected On Their Chests And Dripped Down To Their PINK SOCKS.

‘It Feels Like We Are In A Furnace,’ Said James Zanzot, An Inmate Who Has Lived In The TENTS for 1 year.  ‘It’s Inhumane.’
Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic.  He said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates:  ‘It’s 120 Degrees In Iraq And Our Soldiers Are Living In Tents Too, And They Have To Wear Full Battle Gear, But They Didn’t Commit Any Crimes,So Shut Your Mouths!’

Way To Go, Sheriff!
Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be a lot less crime and/or repeat offenders.  Criminals should be punished for their crimes–not live in luxury until it’s time for their parole, only to go out and commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things some citizens cannot afford to have for themselves.
If you agree, pass this on.  If not, just delete it.

and perhaps this will bring a smile to your face for the coming holidays.  LadyJ
forwarded to you from Lady Jz Talk Zone 

When Highlanders get bored with their sheep! 
No this is not dirty…your kids, wife, girlfriend, grandmother, grandfather, or whatever can view this, even shepherds.
p.s. These guys are not retired electricians either!


watch Angela Shelton Sundays
at 12:00 pst

most time I receive what I need to hear or read and here is an example of that from a new site I have joined.  Thank you Teri, I needed this so much this morning and I’m sending it on to my friends.  LadyJ

A wise man once said that there is nothing to
fear but fear itself!

Today’s Positive Thought
When you align yourself to the presence of God
within you, you realize that there is nothing to fear.
Today’s Positive Affirmation
There is nothing to fear because I AM aligned to the
presence of God within me.
Today’s Positive Visualization

As I take a slow and even breath I acknowledge that the presence
of God is within me. I quiet my mind and I allow myself
to connect to the Divine spirit that dwells at the center
of my being. For a moment, I absorb the light and love
that emanates from this Divine spirit within me. I affirm
that there is only one God; the God that dwells within me
and the God that dwells in everything outside of me. I
remind myself that if God is for me then nothing can be
against me. In my mind’s eye, I see this presence going
before me protecting me everywhere I go and I know there
is nothing to fear. I combine these images with the feelings
of joy and let them go, knowing that they will create the
good things I am visualizing and thinking.

Much Love and Many Blessings~Teri (Theresa F Koch)


join me here and enjoy these for yourself.  LadyJ

Proud to be able to bring to you another great cause that is building fast.  Please read and join in the cause to bring a Lantern of Light across the country and rest at a Memorial Garden planned so that there will always be a reminder of those who have fought the good fight for justice and hope for all who are abused.  LadyJ

Email not displaying correctly? View it in your browser.

About the Newsletter

IDVM Newsletter is a special newsletter designed to connect with volunteers, staff, and members of our communities to provide updates on the domestic violence memorial and botanical gardens project.
This newsletter is being sent to those who are part of our dvmemorial social networking site ( please email me ( directly if you would like to opt out. (Please bear with me as I am still working out the kinks with this new newsletter application.)

Care Cards For Shelters
We would like to invite each of you to contact your local shelters and ask if they would like to recieve care cards for these upcoming holidays. If they are able to provide an address such as po box we will list them with our participating shelters list.

For those who have decided to send a care cards please include words of encouragement and support. I am sure each of you understand how difficult it can be being in a shelter without close friends or family near and the fear of the consequences for leaving an abusive relationship.

Read More >
Prayers Needed
Two of our members, Katie P and  Hopefire are going through some very rough period of their lives. If you would please take a moment and either offer them some support or prayers (for those of you who believe), I would greatly appreciate the kind gesture on their behalf.

Featured Members

Our featured members section of our sites are dedicated to each of our members to introduce them to the group, and to showcase their accomplishments as well as current project. If you would like to be featured please email us at and provide your brief biography, website, and any additional images you would posted.
Current Featured Member:
Kathy Reed, Author of Multiple Sclerosis
Previously Featured Members
Danielle Joy Linhart, Co-Founder and Author of best selling book "From Deep Within"
Cymry Mongan, Founder of Color My Chakras
Project Proposal
Thanks to all of our wonderful volunteers we were able to put together a preliminary project proposal. If you would like to read more details about our project please feel free to download the project proposal. This is the first edition of the proposal as we are still refining the project and what workshops will be hosted for each event.

I have a page for them with a new group getting started with family members (parents, grandparents) who want to support someone who has been diagnosed with MPD/DID.  Lady Jz Talk Zone 


Here’s what’s happening on the HealthyPlace site this week:

When A Family Member Has A Mental Illness

The letters we receive from family members could rip a hole in your soul.

"My wife emptied out our savings and retirement accounts and went on a $230,000, 3-day shopping spree. Carla is bipolar. I was extremely angry when I found about it. That was two weeks ago. Last night, she committed suicide." – Dan

"My daughter’s eating disorder has led to complete anarchy in our house. We’ve tried everything, therapy and hospitalization for her, therapy for us, all the time having to walk that fine line of utter frustration, our own sanity vs. hers. We’ve gone from living a good, middle-income life to being mortgaged to the hilt. Our youngest son is angry because attention has been diverted away from him and my husband and I are at odds over how to handle this. I’m scared to death of what’s next." – Monica

Having a family member with a mental illness can be very stressful and it’s guaranteed you will be affected by their illness too.

A person with a psychiatric disorder often needs much love, help and support. At the same time, the problems, fears and behavior of your ill relative may strain your patience and your ability to cope.

So what’s a family to do? Mental health professionals first suggest learning about the psychiatric disorder so you understand what you’re dealing with. Getting counseling for yourself and attending support group meetings for families (NAMI, DBSA, CHADD, Mental Health America, AA and other addiction all have local support groups across America), where you can share the frustrations and get "insider" feedback, can also be very helpful.

Even being armed with a good understanding of your loved one’s mental illness may not be enough to get you through the tough times, as you’ll see on this Tuesday’s HealthyPlace TV Show (more below).


Share Your Mental Health Experiences

Share your experiences and thoughts about the impact of mental illness in the family or any mental health subject, or respond to other people’s audio posts, by calling our toll-free number (1-888-883-8045).

You can listen to what other people are saying by clicking on the gray title bars inside the widgets located on the "Sharing Your Mental Health Experiences" homepage, the HealthyPlace homepage, and the HealthyPlace Support Network homepage.

If you have any questions, write us at: info AT


"Mental Illness in the Family" On HealthyPlace TV

Rebecca’s life is in tatters. Her daughter has Dissociative Identity Disorder and, so far, has revealed 19 alters … and she’s only 12 years old. It’s cost Rebecca her marriage, her job, and she might even lose custody of her daughter. Her story and helpful suggestions for surviving mental illness in the family on Tuesday’s HealthyPlace Mental Health TV Show.

Join us Tuesday, November 24, at 5:30p PT, 7:30 CST, 8:30 EST. The

show airs live on our website. Rebecca will be taking your questions during the live show.

In the second half of the show, you get to ask Medical Director, Dr. Harry Croft, your personal mental health questions.

Coming in December on the HealthyPlace Mental Health TV Show
  • Overeating: The Emotional Pain and How to Cope with It
  • OCD: Scrupulosity

If you would like to be a guest on the show or share you personal story in writing or via video, please write us at: producer AT

Previous HealthyPlace TV archived shows, click the "on-demand" button on the player.

Coaching The Materialistic Child

Do you have "give me, give me" kids? In today’s materialistic world, where what they see is what they want, how do you teach your children to be satisfied with what they have?

Just in time for the holidays, the Parenting Coach, Dr. Steven Richfield, has some ideas for turning your child from an "all-the-time getter" into at least a "sometimes giver."  Coaching the Materialistic Child

Latest Mental Health News

These stories and more are featured on our mental health news page:

  • Why Do We Hate?
  • What If A Recovery is All in Your Head?
  • How to Find Mental Health Care When Money Is Tight
  • How To Be A Leader
  • Shameful or Shameless–Which Would You Choose?
  • Therapy 32 Times More Cost Effective At Increasing Happiness Than Money
  • Innovative Therapy That Offers New Hope For Borderline Personality Disorder

That’s it for now. If you know of anyone who can benefit from this newsletter or the site, I hope you’ll pass this onto them. You can also share the newsletter on any social network (like facebook or digg) you belong to by clicking the links below.  For updates throughout the week, follow HealthyPlace on Twitter.

Thank you,

Community Partner Team – America’s Mental Health Channel
"When you’re at, you’re never alone."

this page below has some numbers you may be surprised to see, yet I’m not, LadyJ




Battered Men – The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence

Battered Men in Washington

Domestic Violence Against Men

25,473 Washington Men a Year
According to National Violence Against Women Survey Estimates

© 1999999, 2001 by Bert H. Hoff

Every year, 1,510,455 women and 834,732 men are victims of physical violence by an intimate. This is according to a Nov. 1998 Department of Justice report on the National Violence Against Women Survey. What does that mean? Every 37.8 seconds, somewhere in America a man is battered. Every 20.9 seconds, somewhere in America a woman is battered. Every 20.6 minutes another man in Washington is battered.

In Washington, that’s 42,824 women and 25,473 men. That includes 2,754 men on whom a knife was used, 5,508 men threatened with a knife and 11,016 men hit with an object.

There may be a trend toward less violence against women, more violence against men, or both. While 76.5% of the people reporting physical violence by an intimate in their lifetime were women, only 62.5% of the people reporting physical violence by an intimate in the last year were women, and 37.5% were men.

The data show that men are more likely to have a knife used on them or to be threatened with a knife, hit with an object, kicked, bitten or have something thrown at them. Women are more likely to beaten up, threatened with a gun, choked, victims of drowning attempts, have their hair pulled or be pushed, grabbed or shoved.

Other Resources

Domestic Violence in Washington: 25,473 Men a Year
According to a Nov. 1998 Department of JusticeJustice report on the National Violence Against Women Survey, 1,510,455 women and 834,732 men are victims of physical violence by an intimate. In Washington, that’s 42,824 women and 25,473 men. That includes 2,754 on whom a knife was used, 5,508 threatened with a knife and 11,016 hit with an object. Here are the data.

Help for Battered Men Practical suggestions, Hotline numbers, on-line resources. Print it out and hand it to a man you think may be battered–your caring opens him up to talking about it.

Men’s Stories Here are some personal stories by battered men, and links to sites with more of them. The more we talk about it, the more we tell our stories, the more we increase public awareness that men are battered and encourage battered men to get the help they need. Send us your story, so we can post it here (anonymously, of course, unless you tell us differently.)

What’s Wrong with the Duluth Model? The "Duluth Model" is the approach most widely used for perpetrator treatment–but it gender polarizes the "people problem" of domestic violence.. What’s wrong with the Duluth Model? It blames and shames men. It’s based on ideology, not science. It ignores drinking, drugs and pathology. Only one cause, only one solution. There’s no real evidence it works. It ignores domestic violence by women. Women who need help can’t get it. It’s taught by wounded healers.

Latest Research Findings National Violence Against Women survey shows 37.5% of victims each year are men. Men are at real risk of serious physical injury. Murray A. Straus looks at controversies in DV research. Martin Fiebert examines reasons women give for assaulting men. JAMA emergency room study shows equal number of men, woman victims.

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wonderful messages giving from Sandy, I hope you enjoy her show as much as I do. 
LadyJ lady jz talk zone 


Messages From Your Angels Radio Show Newsletter


My Website

Show Page


Join Our Mailing List

Featured Guest

Alison Kelly

Monday, 11/30/09

12-1pm CST

Show Information


12-1pm CST on BlogTalkRadio

" Messages From Your Angels " is a one hour radio show with Metaphysical Topics, Green Living Tips, special guests and live intuitive readings.

I am a certified Reiki Master/Teacher, Zimbate Practitioner, Angel Healing Practitioner, Energy Healing Practitioner, Animal Therapist and Theta Healing Practitioner in Green Bay, Wisconsin. I have been practicing the healing arts for over five years. My background includes a Bachelors Degree in Music Education and Business.

Issue: #8
November 23, 2009



Thank you so much for taking this time to learn more about what is coming up on the show.  Messages From Your Angels is a one hour radio show on BlogTalkRadio. 

I am so excited about the guests that I have lined up for November and December and January.  You can see the list of guests below.  If you are interested in being a guest on the show, please contact me at

You can listen to all of the shows on archive.  You can also subscribe via I-Tunes-just search "healingmom".  If you do subscribe via I-Tunes, please write a review for me.  If you are a member of BlogTalkRadio, please mark my show as a favorite. 

I’m also in the process of changing my website from www.healingmom to  There are so many more features that I can use at the "ning" site.  You do not have to join Ning to view this site.  Please check out my new site and let me know if you have any problems accessing it. My site will only be active until the end of November. 

I will not have a show on Monday, November 23rd due to the Thanksgiving Holiday.  I will return live Monday, November 30th with Angel Therapist and Psychic Medium Alison Kelly.  Happy Thanksgiving to all my U.S. listeners.

Remember to always follow your heart, ask the angels to walk beside you and do at least one random act of kindness this week.

Many Blessings to you

Special Guest ,  Angel Therapist and Psychic Medium Alison Kelly

Alison Kelly works with God and the angels to guide people along their spiritual paths. She considers herself to be "spirit trained" and insists that anyone who has faith, allows trust, believes within and loves openly has what it takes to be a gifted intuitive. Alison is also known for her practical approach to life’s lessons and offers deep wisdom to those who wish to lead an extraordinary life. Her insightful teachings have made her a celebrated motivational speaker and seminar leader. Alison is currently working on her first book about working with God and the angels to live the life of your dreams!

My Story: Three Kids And A Tumor
Life was good. I was a young mother of three (2000). My family was healthy. My husband had a job. I lived a spirit-filled life. What more could one want? Well, that was all about to change…

It all began with a slight tingling in my toes. I thought my shoes were too tight, so I loosened them. Then the tingle turned into numbness. I ignored it. The numbness spread from the toes to the shins and around to my calves. "What in the world??" I wondered. Surely it was a pinched nerve in my back. "A trip to the chiropractor should solve everything," I thought, then, "O.K., maybe two trips . . . maybe three,"  Then my thighs were numb and I was becoming irritated. I decided to go to a "back specialist." His assessment confirmed my diagnosis as a pinched nerve. An MRI was done on my lower back and lumber spine. Everything looked fine, but it wasn’t…really. 

The numbness then began to encompass my entire lower body. Even a flame held to my flesh caused a vicious wound, but not one grimace of pain. The doctor administered 3 rounds of anti-inflammatory directly into the epidural space of my spinal cord. Not fun. No help.  Even a shower was a surreal experience. I saw the water hitting my legs, but I could not feel the water. It had been about 2 months since the first slight tingle in my toes. Since then the "tingle" had taken over half of my body. Everything from my chest down was not only numb and cold, but I was rapidly losing muscle control. Every step I took required my full concentration and holding my bladder was also beginning to be a challenge. I then began a 2 week long spiral downward into depression and desperation. Although the doctors were convinced that my problems stemmed from my lower back, I could clearly feel a block of energy in my upper back. Thus, I demanded a FULL spinal MRI. And there it was…a tumor the size of a lemon in the middle of my back and located inside my spinal cord. By this time, I was soon to require the use of a wheelchair.

And then the moment that changed who I was forever… My neurosurgeon explained that the paralysis already caused by this tumor was most likely permanent and the tumor needed to come out immediately! Today! Not to mention, my spinal cord most likely was permanently damaged and I would probably not regain what bodily functions I had already lost. He also warned me that the surgery was very risky. There was a possibility of my spinal cord being completely severed upon the removal of the tumor. And it was likely that I would require the use of a wheelchair for the rest of my life.  Furthermore, if it was malignant; I had about 18 months to live. Alas, his schedule was full and he could not perform the surgery for 2 more weeks!

For two weeks I sat in my house, hardly able to walk, not able to feel my legs. I wondered if I would ever get to see my children grow. It was time to go to work…It seemed that everything I had learned about energy healing was all for this moment. I began to live in a state of humbling gratitude and appreciation.  I spent time in prayer, meditation, and silence. I channeled healing energy from Divine Source and removed the blocks that were causing my tumor to grow. Heavenly Angels never left my side and showed me how to repair my spinal cord. During those 2 weeks, I experienced a place of peace and serenity that I’d only dreamt about.

Well, nothing short of a miracle occurred on that fateful day of the surgery. I woke up in the recovery room being able to wiggle my toes and feel my body again. The nurses had tears in their eyes and were saying…"We didn’t think you would make it.  You should have seen that surgery. He sawed off your vertebrae. exposed your spinal cord, and cut it open 6 inches. Then he spent 5 hours "unwrapping" that tumor from inside your cord.  Amazing!" Yes, it was amazing. And the tumor was not malignant. It was a miracle!

There were two miracles that took place for me. One was getting my physical body back. But, the second was even greater and much more unexpected…I was going to live, I was going to live…Suddenly, everything and everyone around me looked brighter. I could see life clearer. Things that once seemed important were now trivial in comparison to the greatest gift of all – life. The devastation of developing a life threatening illness ultimately transformed into something quite remarkable, a new perspective and even greater appreciation for myself and love for God. There is a shift in spirit on the deepest soul level when faced with the reality of your own mortality. 

This powerful experience also allowed me to trust what I had known for years. That God and the Angels have unconditional love for every living thing and their love can be used for profound healing. They taught me how to intuitively heal myself and have inspired me to help others.

Whether you are dealing with an illness, looking for direction, or wanting to connect with your Angels: I would be honored to accompany you on your journey to health, wellness, and blissful living! 

Last Week’s Guest

Lisa J Smith-CBS Radio Show Host and Psychic Medium.

Click Here to go to Lisa’s website

Click Here to listen to this show

Upcoming Guests

November 2009

No show on Monday, 11/23,2009-Happy Thanksgiving.

Monday 11/30-Angel Therapist and Psychic Medium Alison Kelly

Wednesday-12/9-Intuitive and Achieve Radio Show Host Bobby Marchesso

Monday 12/14-Astrologist Shelley Overton

Monday 12/21-Author Susan Siffelman MFT

Wednesday 12/23, Monday 12/28 & Wednesday 12/30-No Show-Happy Holiday’s.  

Wednesday 1/6-Author Mike Dooley "Infinite Possibilites"

Monday 1/11-Author J.L Kimmel-"The Magic Gown"

Monday 1/18-ThetaHealing Teacher Suzanne Roloff is back

Monday 1/25-Angel Communicator Dr. Kelli

Monday 2/1-Numerologist and Palm Reader Darlene Denning

Monday 2/8-Author Terry Whittaker "Live Your Bliss"

Many Blessings to you,

Sandy Ruminski
"Messages From Your Angels"

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Please pass this on for us

November 21, 2009

From the album:
"Wall Photos" by Missing Teen BRITTANEE MARIE DREXEL

more from the Spiritual Zen

November 21, 2009

hope you enjoy reading this as much as I do.  Some of the best simple ways to live and let live. LadyJ


Live and Let Live: 9 Ways of Letting Go

by Jared on November 19, 2009


Recently I was involved in a discussion on the topic of Live and Let Live. The term live and let live can be viewed in several ways, but basically it means letting go and stop trying to control others. Let them live their lives just as you want to live yours. Guess it’s sort of back to the golden rule.

I think the Free Dictionary sums it up nicely, “to accept other people as they are, although they may have a different way of life

The first thing that comes to my mind when I hear someone say “live and let live” is the song “Live and Let Die” by Gun’s and Rose’s. I know it was originally performed by Paul McCartney and Wings for the James Bond film, but that’s where my head goes. But the next place it goes is the Serenity Prayer:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

For me, this prayer and mindset can be used in almost any situation. So my list of 9 ways could simply be, say this prayer 9 times. But that’s too easy, so here’s a list of ways you can practice live and let live:

  1. Say the Serenity Prayer (you knew that one was coming!)
    To try and dissect this passage into its most important parts is difficult if not impossible. You cannot seem to have one without the other and they all seem so important. Using this prayer as an action in the middle of traffic or stressful situations, reminds me to concentrate only on things I can control.
  2. Ask Yourself: How Important is it Really?
    Tell yourself, “I’d rather be happy then right.” Or if that’s not the case, try being right all the time and see how far that get’s you towards true happiness. The feeling that we have to be right, is a way of separating ourselves from others. Feeding our fear of inferiority and propping ourselves up as better than everyone else. Either way, you’re separating yourself from others.
  3. Be Understanding Rather Than Understood
    Step outside yourself and try putting yourself in the other persons shoes. Try viewing the situation from their perspective.
  4. Realize That Most Things Happen Around You, Not TO You
    If the thing you can’t let go of began as an action someone did to you (or at least your perception of it was), ask yourself if you’ve ever done the same thing to someone else. More than likely you have. Take a step back and remember the world does not revolve around you. It’s pretty arrogant to think the entire world is conspiring against us.
  5. Prayer and Meditation
    Prayer is asking for guidance, from whatever higher being you choose. Meditation is listening for the answer. When I’m having trouble letting go of something, I will pray about it for days, weeks, or even months. Eventually the answer just intuitively comes to me.
  6. Stop Being A Victim
    A victim is a spectator in their own life. Let go of things that continue to take up rent free space in your heart and mind.
  7. Make A Decision
    Many times we forget we have choices in life. A few days ago I was asked to do something I wasn’t quite comfortable with. Initially I agreed, but then realized I had a choice. I can choose to let go of my need to please everyone and stay true to my values. The goal is to have the right decision be the first and only one that comes to my mind. Progress not perfection. I may not be responsible for my first thought, but I am responsible for my actions. We are judged by our actions, not our thoughts or intentions.
  8. Stop Holding On
    Many times we have an emotional investment in the outcome of a situation; this causes us to hold tight to something we may not have the power to change. Identify the attached emotion to let go of it. If you stop holding on, gravity will take care of the rest.
  9. Lend a Helping Hand or a Solution
    Sometimes we do have the solution. Better yet, sometimes others trust us enough to want our solution to their problem. Providing a solution or suggestion is one thing, but avoid doing it for them. Enabling someone, or robbing them of the opportunity to grow through action, tends to keep us emotionally attached to the outcome; making it difficult to detach later if we need to for ourselves.

Letting go is easy when we have no emotional investment in the outcome. I was listening to a Wayne Dyer CD a friend gave me several years ago and he listed three things that lead to total enlightenment. I’m paraphrasing because I haven’t been able to find the resource since, but one of the three things had to do with emotional attachment. That part of reaching enlightenment was having no emotional investment in the outcome of situations or relationships with others.

Detaching ourselves emotionally from the outcome of situations is easier said than done. It does not mean we don’t care, we’re just taking responsibility of what we do have control over while allowing others to do the same. Live and let live.

Photo credit: justmakeit

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Looking for enlightenment? Check out Ron Scolastico’s amazing series Becoming Enlightened: Twelve Keys to Higher Consciousness