Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse

January 5, 2010

Who should be on Council??? International Day

To members of Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse MSSA+MSG Male Survivor Group

Robert Bérubé January 3 at 4:33pm Reply

International Day: Administration Council: Who to choose? Who not to choose?
(If you do not read this text in its entirety please read the conclusion.)
I have given this a lot of thought and I have discussed this issue with a few male survivors. Now I am bringing it out in the open and hope for enlightening feedback.

Challenges, ideas, compromises:
A growing number of male survivors feel that it is time that we as male survivors assume the dominant role in an organisation that it is time that we become the ‘stars’ and not have others who are not male survivors dictate their beliefs, their way of doing things etc. It is time for us to empower ourselves! It won’t be easy but it will be done by us.
Some male survivors’ think that it time to be empowered but are afraid of attempting to do this alone.
Many male survivors feel that many non survivors, family, friends, therapists (who are not survivors), and women can advocate for our cause and have been advocating for us and we need their support and their help.
Many male survivors have appreciated the help of non male survivors but have disliked the fact that some therapists, some non survivors and some women want the control over male survivors and that male survivors are to accept what is given and not complain nor suggest changes…

Presently, in certain areas of the world, some men have had the opportunity of benefitting from help. In certain areas of the world there are no services for male or female survivors. For a child to mention that he or she is abused is taboo. For an adult to mention abuse as a child is still considered to be scandalous.
In certain areas of the world legislation does not protect abused children and there are no organisations for male and female survivors. Therefore male survivors must work with female survivors to gain legislation changes and help.
Within our group:

I wish to thank all of you that have submitted your name and stated that you want to support the International Day.
Unfortunately, certain areas of the world that could have been represented, or special groups did not have a male survivor come up and state that he wanted to assume a position. In certain instances, women, women therapist, men who are not survivors and therapists have offered their support.

Many survivors are willing to help but for many reasons must remain anonymous for the time being.
Many survivors are not confident that they can do a good job! If we work together we can accomplish much. Some would prefer working with a group but not manage it.

CONCLUSION
The ONLY focus of the International Day Group is to establish an International Day for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse (a week?). Following this, all members of our group will promote the day and all members can suggest, submit ideas and projects that could occur on that day. These activities will become our objectives.
It is important to establish a structure in which Male Survivors are empowered and assume leadership, yet others would be most welcomed to join. Therefore the creation of an administrative council (male survivors only) and an advocate’s council (anyone) will be established. Facilitator groups that will support the member of the administration council will also be created.
The International Day: Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse

Administration Council:
A Male Survivor of sexual abuse who represents a certain geographic area of the world (a Country, State-Province, Municipality etc,) or a particular cultural, social or linguistic group.
This group with time will become the voice and decision makers of the group. For the moment I will be the only spokesperson for the group till the Council is established.

Facilitator’s Groups:
Facilitator’s groups will be created to support the members of the Council in their activities. These will be established with Male Survivors and Advocates.
Advocates of the Cause:
Any person: male or female, survivor or not, therapist, family, friends who wants to support the International Day. They can represent a Country, State-Province, Municipality etc,) or a particular cultural, social or linguistic group.

Exceptions:
The only persons who will be barred from joining are pedophiles and any person who will deliberately harm another male survivor.
Any and all comments will be appreciated!
The first list of members to groups and councils will be published next week!

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