It’s all about women

September 14, 2010

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Vol. 7 Newsletter – September 14, 2010

Are you looking for a little inspiration to get you through your week? Then we have just what you need. Check out the website for information on how to make effective business decisions, insight on how to become a financial grown up, tips for navigating your relationship while starting a business, and so much more. Here’s a brief look at the articles for this week.

This Week On

What is the Empower 180 Tour?


To A City

Near You!

Click here

Build your business differently!

Empower180 tour is a one-day opportunity for you to learn, meet, indulge wisdom from global thought leaders, passionate entrepreneurs and celebrity business owners that will Empower you with resources, and tools proven to immediately generate results. – Click here

Leadership Dilemma: Whats A Gal To Do?
By Sylvia Lafair

Did you know that 56% of adults in the United States living in poverty are women? Women can become leaders in their own lives in order to transform their lives and change these statistics.

Become A Financial Grownup
By Amanda Steinberg

Have you ever based your financial decisions on the idea that you should be able to buy what you want? So did Amanda Steinberg until she realized that what she could afford was quite different then what she should be spending her money on.

Navigating Your Relationship and A Business

Starting a business can be extremely stressful – even more so if your partner is stressing about money and the logistics of it all. We have tips to help you successfully navigate your relationship while jump starting your business.

Making Effective Business Decisions
By Shirley M. Mueller

Most people think that emotions hinder rather than help business decisions. Now evidence supports just the opposite – that women’s tendency to make business decisions from a different place than men makes them successful.

How I healed Myself
By Bernadette Greene

Anyone that has struggled to maintain a normal life in the face of a debilitating illness knows what a monumental challenge it can be. Bernadette Greene was able to take her diagnosis of Crohn’s Disease and make a treatment plan that worked for her.

>>Achieve your end of

the  year goals

>>Discover the 7 true wonders of the world

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Until Next Week…
You Are Remarkable,
The Team
Dedicated to Making Women’s Lives Even BETTER!
PS If you haven’t watched the short movie, "The One Flaw In Women," please take 3 minutes now to turn up speakers and watch it here:
PPS Please feel free to forward this email to all the women in your life that you’d like to share this powerful movie with…and also feel free to share it on your Facebook page!

© Copyright 2010


Healthy Place newsletter

September 6, 2010


You can read the HealthyPlace Mental Health Newsletter online if you wish.


Here’s what’s happening on the HealthyPlace site this week:

Record Numbers of Children Taking Psychiatric Medications

Growing Numbers of Children Getting Antipsychotics and Diabetes Medications

Psychological issues and youth obesity were the biggest contributors to that, according to the 2010 Medco Drug Trend Report. Medco Health Solutions is a pharmacy benefit manager, with the nation’s largest mail-order pharmacy operations.

Medco reports that 2009 also ushered in new indications to existing psychiatric medications and other drugs that traditionally treat adult diseases:

  • Abilify — for irritability associated with autistic disorder in children aged 6 to 17
  • Seroquel — for schizophrenia in children aged 13 to 17, and for acute manic episodes in children aged 10 to 17 with bipolar I disorder
  • Zyprexa — for schizophrenia and for acute mania (bipolar I) in children aged 13 to 17
  • WelChol, Crestor — for low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol reduction in children aged 10 to 17 with heterozygous familial hypercholesterolemia
  • Atacand — for hypertension in children aged 1 to 17
  • Axert — for acute treatment of pediatric migraine
  • Protonix — for erosive esophagitis in patients aged 5+

Prescription medication use rose nearly 5 percent in children in 2009, four times higher than the growth in medication use in the general population. The drug categories showing the most significant growth among children are diabetes, ADHD, antipsychotics, asthma and heartburn medications. ADHD drug use surged 9.1 percent; children’s use was up, but the largest increase was among young adults 20-34.

One thing that’s helped contain rising costs is the number of medications that have gone from branded to generic. Adderall XR, Topamax, Depakote, Neurontin and Lamictal are included here. In the next 3 years, Medco says some of the blockbuster drugs, like Effexor XR and Lexapro, will be going generic providing more cost savings. And getting your medications via mail order is another way the health plans are saving significant money. The number of people doing that has risen substantially.


Mental Health Experiences

Share your thoughts/experiences on the rising number of children receiving psychiatric medications, the costs of psych meds, or any mental health subject, or respond to other people’s audio posts, by calling our toll-free number (1-888-883-8045).

You can listen to what other people are saying by clicking on the gray title bars inside the widgets located on the "Sharing Your Mental Health Experiences" homepage, the HealthyPlace homepage, and the HealthyPlace Support Network homepage.

If you have any questions, write us at: info AT


"Recovering From A Relationship With A Narcissist" On HealthyPlace TV

For many people involved in an intimate relationship with a narcissist, trying to recover from the aftermath can be very difficult. To learn why this is and the steps to recovery, watch this week’s HealthyPlace Mental Health TV Show.

Watch the interview with our guest, Sam Vaknin, author of Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited, currently featured on the HealthyPlace Mental Health TV Show website until next Wednesday; on-demand after that.

Next Week on the HealthyPlace Mental Health TV Show
  • Adult ADHD Diagnosis and Treatment: Reasons Why Sometimes, Things Go Very Wrong

If you would like to be a guest on the show or share your personal story in writing or via video, please write us at: producer AT

For previous HealthyPlace TV archived shows.

From HealthyPlace Mental Health Blogs

Your comments and observations are welcomed.

Feel free to share your thoughts and comments at the bottom of any blog post. And visit the mental health blogs homepage for the latest posts.

Coaching Children To Confidently Adapt To The Challenges Of Change

A parent writes into "The Parent Coach," Dr. Steven Richfield:

"Our kids avoid change and shun anything new. They are both getting ready to start new schools and we don’t know how to help them."

If you find yourself in a similar situation where your children have difficulty adapting to change, here’s Dr. Richfield’s advice.  More parenting tips on other child and adolescent behavioral and mental health issues.

Latest Mental Health News

These stories and more are featured on our mental health news page:

  • A Weird Way of Thinking Has Prevailed Worldwide
  • Why Are 20-Somethings Taking So Long To Grow Up?
  • The Ravages of Alcoholism: Who Deserves A Liver Transplant?
  • Disasters Especially Tough On People With Disabilities, Mental Disorders
  • Anxiety Linked to Substance Use Problems in Bipolar Disorder
  • Children at High Schizophrenia Risk Have Reduced Cognition

That’s it for now. If you know of anyone who can benefit from this newsletter or the site, I hope you’ll pass this onto them. You can also share the newsletter on any social network (like facebook, stumbleupon, or digg) you belong to by clicking the links below. For updates throughout the week, follow HealthyPlace on Twitter or become a fan of HealthyPlace on Facebook.

Thank you,

Community Partner Team – America’s Mental Health Channel
"When you’re at, you’re never alone."

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Lavender Magazine

September 5, 2010



Lavender Sisters

Breaking the Isolation, Shame & Silence

All you need for recovery

is a Will and a Way

sisters books





Can’t afford/get to a therapist

Mary is the second daughter of Thomas Blige, a jazz musician, and Cora Blige, a nurse. Her older sister, LaTonya, also is a singer. The family lived in the Bronx until her father abandoned them, then they moved to a public housing project just north of New York City.

“We lived in the ghetto,” Mary says. “I’d hear women screaming and running down the halls from guys beating up on them. People chased us with weapons. I never saw a woman there who wasn’t abused. It was a dangerous place. No one wanted anyone else to get ahead.

When I was 5, sexual stuff was done to me. My mother was a single parent, a working woman. She left us with people she thought could be trusted. They hurt me.

After that happened,

I thought: "It was somehow my fault."

Parade Magazine, published: 01/23/2007

to help

by Karen Duncan

this is what you

have to heal from …

The frequency with which you blamed yourselves for the abuse, carry guilt about exposing the perpetrator, feared family retribution and the ease you recognize the confusion you experienced within the family’s maladaptive belief system.

"that’s it – in a nutshell"

but it will take you

a lifetime to achieve

Have they been treating Me Insane or Sexually Abused?

Yes, I have been labeled with two mental illnesses (major depression and that condition I like to call Chronic Shock Syndrome/PTSD "aka" borderline) but who really is the "crazy one."

I just passed a major milestone in my personal life.  I confronted my mother with the knowledge that she allowed and covered up my father’s sexual abuse of me when she was pregnant with my brother 40 years ago.

Funny thing is, no one, from a national mental health organization, two therapists, or my husband was helpful in this last healing step.




It took 43 years for me to figure out.  You’ll never remember the sex if you were too young to put it into context, but you will remember the warped adult rules and their excuses; that will be proof enough.

More >>>

It was crazy-making behavior, and I was doing it to myself.

There have been many times in my life when I have been totally lost and confused but would not admit it.

I thought my life had to be hard; after all, I was ugly and bad. I struggled through one badrelationship after another.

I struggled to manage my life rather than live it. I believed struggle, hurt, and pain were the natural order.

I knew how to take a punch in life, and I was determined not to be knocked down even when I was on my knees.

I would survive with my extremely negative internal self-dialogue, I would beat myself up for who and what I was and was not, what I had and had not done, what I did and did not own.

Externally, I tried to prove to myself and the world that I was more than I actually believed I could ever be.

More > > >

In the beginning: abuse is delivered by the those who should have been there to comfort, to protect.

Physical, emotional, sexual abuse are familiar denys  of childhood years for all too many children.
And, of course, there’s the cover up — bury the memories deep, hide the pain, live in desperation and unending solitude — a hard place to live, a hard place to leave, a hard place to survive.

Because no one really wants to know the truth. No one wants to look too closely at just how tragic the effects of abuse are. 

Survivors of abuse live in a cold, dark world. Traumatic memories come in snatches of emotion, in body memories, in moments of inexplicable terror.

The children of abuse break into fragments. Little pieces rattle around inside trying to connect to the whole: one fragment carries the memories of the abuse, another the fear, another the anger.

Code of Silence:

Beneath the American Dream

chronicles in poetry Jenny’s journey from being sexually abused as a child to embracing life and and love as a woman.

Learn More >

Negative Views of the non-abusing Mother

In childhood sexual cases, the non-abusing parent (usually the mother) is often seen as a colluder, helpless bystander or victim.  These negative views may be based on misconceptions about incestuous families and can lead to treatment bias and neglect of the other "victims" of abuse.

Pelletier & Handy (1986) suggests that there are three representative incestuous family types:

Possessive-passive family – the father rules with complete authority, sometimes by force are often described as "manipulative, impulsive, dominating, and unpredictable: and tends to marry immature or insecure women who can be kept emotionally and financially dependent.  Such women are often unavailable for their children emotionally or have a physical disability.

Marriage between Dependent Man and a Domineering Woman – these women tire of being the "mother" to their husbands and withdraw from their spouses emotionally and sexually. 

Frequently these women are cold and rejecting of their children.  They are often absent from their home and therefore unavailable to protect their children.

Union of Dependent man and Dependent Woman – neither is able to fill the other’s overwhelming needs.  Inadequate as parents and spouses, they look to their children for parenting.

A significant number of mothers of CSA victims have themselves suffered abuse as children. 

Excerpts from Janet D. Felgenbaurm’s, Negative views of the mother after childhood sexual abuse. Published in Women’s Mental Health.

More > > >

Thrivers tell us what works for them?

It’s call the Lavender Sisterhood and they send me all the latest trends, their accomplishments, and articles that advanced their understanding so that you can enjoy eBites of what is exciting a new.


It’s call the Lavender Sisterhood and they tell me about their books, their speakership, and eBites about their experiences with new drugs, laws, understanding what it means to the first in the "Wild West" of new approaches.

Latch on to

what works for you

Have you ever had someone look at you as if your story is beyond comprehension?  Our Sisterhood already knows how that feels.

Do you feel as if they don’t have any idea what if feel like to be in your shoes?  Our Sisterhood already knows how that feels.

So don’t hestitate to come join us for a chat about anything in this eMag or that is on your mind ….

Join us on Facebook

the healing

tools of nature

Finding therapy among Earth’s mightiest friends.

As such, we owe it to ourselves and to God to respect and honor the bounty of the earth. The Creator has placed at our disposal a wealth of natural energies that are willing and useful healing tools. We need only ask, and the help is there for us.


These mighty friends are elemental symbols of wisdom. They are tangible signs of transformation and growth. Trees are receptive and energizing.

They stand as symbols, representing and demonstrating our endless source of supply. Imagine that every tree you pass on the streets or roads is a demonstration of the things you can be or have in your life.

There is no shortage of possibilities in life, and every possibility is within your reach. We can also talk to trees, particularly elms and oaks. Weeping willows are eager receptors for our sorrows—they take our tears and transform them into beauty!

Trees are a solid support system.

An excellent clearing ritual can be performed at the foot of a tree. Dig a small hole in front of the tree or near the roots. Lie flat on the earth and talk directly into the hole.

Talk as though you were speaking to a person. If you are expressing pain, sorrow, fear, and so on, tell the tree exactly what the cause is and how you feel about it. If you are making a request, be specific.

More nature

therapy >


Your Mother’s


Mothers of this generation of women did not have the information we have today; they did not readily have the opportunity to seek help or talk to someone about what was happening to them as children. 

Their trauma occured before they were effective laws to prosecute abuse, shelters for victims, therapy programs in their community, and media exposure on the topic of abuse.

reviewing your

family legacy

healing technique

Our mothers were, in some ways still are, one of the most silent generations about this trauma.

She has learned from her father-to keep the abuse a secret- was taught to her as a means of protecting him, not her or her child. 

She learned as a child to maintain the silence of the perpetrator and the family belief system of denial.  She was not taught how to keep herself safe or that she deserved to be protected. 

She lacked confidence in her own beliefs, perceptions, and convictions about sexual abuse and thus continued what the family believed was appropriate.

More >>>

On the front cover is me coming out of the tunnel of darness into the light.  One of the goals of the book is to go back and help other victims and survivors to make it out into the the light too.

I hope as  more victims and survivors speak out about their own personal stories, there will never be  another person who has to feel alone in the process.

My father started training me early on to be his personal play thing/ sexual slave.  I had been sexually molested as an infant.   My mother sent my two brothers and myself to my grandparents to safety.  I did not live with my father he would come to get me.  He came after me when I was 15 and told me he waited til I was old enough.

At the hands of my father, I was physically, emotionally, sexually, spitually and financially abused.

More > > >

Meditation Tapes


with affirmation tapes and meditation because you are trying to substitute your inner voice with theirs through repetiton.

A male voice sounds

like an abuser telling

you to calm down

and minimize

the situation.

Runaway Love

Mary J Blige

Enough Cryin’

Mary J Blige

No More Drama

Mary J Blige

Good Woman Down

Mary J Blige

Take Me As I Am

Mary J Blige

Click on her to see video

What’s Love Got to Do With it

Tina Turner

Rain on Me


I Will Survive

Gloria Gaynor

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September 5, 2010


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PAVE Newsletter

Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence

August 2010

In this Issue

:: Binding Project

:: Guys Project

:: Stop the Silence Run

:: Save the Date!

:: Booking for 2010

:: PAVE Library Series

:: Fear No Fashion

:: Rape in the Congo

:: International Day for Male Survivors

:: Angel Rising CD

Dear Jacki m,

PAVE shatters the silence of sexual violence through social awareness, educational outreach, and legislative efforts. By being both prevention and awareness focused, PAVE works on all fronts to end sexual violence affecting men, women and children throughout the globe.
We use art, education and action to challenge cultural norms that encourage violence and ignore the spectrum of sexual abuse.  We create an awareness and response to any injustices victims, survivors and their communities suffer.
You’re invited to join this important work – learn more today!

The Binding Project

The Binding Project Action Kit Now Available!

The Binding Project blends education, art, and dialogue to establish a community of empowerment by creating a focal point for the shared healing and strength of those dedicated to shattering the silence of sexual violence.

The Binding Project seeks to unite people across the United States by empowering them to take ownership over zip tie bindings and other forms of restraint often used by perpetrators as a means of control and power. Victims, their loved ones, and other members of the community will choose to take ownership over these bindings symbolically, spiritually and psychologically by participating in The Binding Project. As part of the Project, each participant will write a word that empowers her or him in times of struggle and adversity on a zip tie binding and wear it as a bracelet.

This complete Binding Project Action Kit is perfect for September, Campus Safety Awareness Month. It contains everything you need from Binding Project materials, instructions and full color flyers. Order yours today!


The Guys Project Video

Click Here to View the Video

GabeFrom PAVE’s Male Empowerment Director Gabe Wright…

It is with pleasure to finally be able to share one of my first Video Blog which has been submitted to the World Deaf Cinema festival to take place in DC this Nov.  I will know by the end of the month if it has been accepted.

The purpose of this video was…

1)  To allow myself the opportunity to approach the next stages of my recovery/healing from the PTSD
2)  To introduce The Guys Project and "Hey Man, I Got Your Back" campaign
3)  To begin the promotion of the documentary.

Please do take the time to also sign up to join in the project and also spread the word.

Hope you enjoy the video and looking forward to hearing everyone’s responses!

Freeze To Stop The Silence


Run in the Marine Corps Marathon 10K or full Marathon, or Baltimore half or full Marathon and raise funds for Stop the Silence. To register and for additional info, please contact Lesley Green at 703-989-9234, or

*Look for Pam Pine from Stop the Silence and PAVE’s Angela Rose at the IVAT conference in San Diego as they facilitate a workshop together on Grassroots Campaigns.


National Sexual Assault Conference

Date: September 1-3, 2010
Location: L.A., California
Purpose: The California Coalition Against Sexual Assault will be hosting the 2010 national conference

Learn more

15th International Conference on Violence, Abuse and Trauma (IVAT)

Date: Sept. 12-15, 2010

Location: San Diego, CA

Purpose: The mission is to provide professional training and information dissemination to improve the quality of life for those affected by violence, abuse, and trauma on local, national, and international levels; PAVE is a collaborating organization



Find us on Facebook

PAVE’s Website

ANGELA’s Website

Angela Rose

Angela Rose’s decade of work on the issue of sexual violence has made her a highly-respected, engaging speaker and expert on sexual assault and violence prevention. She is also widely recognized as an advocate for survivor empowerment. Angela’s efforts have been profiled by CNN, The Today Show, The Montel Williams Show, CosmoGirl, Girl’s Life magazine and in newspapers nationwide.

More info

PAVEs Library Series to Shatter the Silence of Sexual Violence

Did you know that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before they are 18 years old? Would you like to help STOP that statistic?

PAVE: Promoting Awareness, Victim Empowerment is celebrating our 10 Year Anniversary by creating a multi-media library series of violence prevention material. Our first DVD, "Transition to Survivor," has been used by universities and military bases across the country to raise awareness and prevent sexual crimes. WE NEED YOUR HELP to continue this important work.

ANY DONATION AMOUNT IS WELCOME! We offer special perks for donations in these ranges:

  • $100: your name will be listed in the rolling credits
  • $250: Above PLUS a signed copy of the DVD
  • $500: Above PLUS a special thank you on our website
  • $1,000: Above PLUS your name alone paused on screen during credits
  • $2,500: Above PLUS your name or company logo featured on the front of the DVD packaging of our 2 new films, thanked in the beginning of the film, plus at the end in the credits.


Fear No Fashion in Chicago: 10/10/10

Fear No FashionJoin hundreds of participants as Lather Chicago with Agency Galatea present the third annual Fear No Fashion on 10/10/10 with models, dancers, performance art, and local celebrities including TV Host/Model April Rose and TV/Radio Personality Jenner Evans. This event will be hosted by Jennifer Roberts from 101.9 The Mix.

Please come join us for an unforgettable interactive experience because fashion is about feeling Beautiful, Sexy and Empowered! The featured designers are: Borris Powell, Wanda Cobar, Crescendo Apparel, and Anna Hovet. Fear No Fashion’s objective is to promote personal empowerment.

PAVE is celebrating its 10 Year Anniversary – so this year’s Fear No Fashion will be held on 10/10/10! CLICK HERE

Rape in the Congo

PAVE Partners with Hotel Rwanda’s Paul Rusesabagina

Paul - Hotel Rwanda

The Hotel Rwanda Rusesabagina Foundation

was founded by Paul Rusesabagina, the real life hero of the acclaimed film Hotel Rwanda. Rusesabagina, portrayed by Don Cheadle in the film, saved the lives of more than 1200 people during the Rwandan genocide and has been honored internationally for his heroism. The Foundation works to prevent future genocides and raise awareness of the need for a new truth and reconciliation process in Rwanda and the Great Lakes Region of Africa. Thanks to PAVE Board of Director, Kitty Kurth, PAVE’s Angela Rose and Paul Rusesabagina wrote an Opinion Editorial about the gang rapes in the Congo.

Click here to learn more about the issue

Thousands of innocent individuals of both sexes, including children as young as one month old, are the rape targets of rebel groups that originated after the 1994 Rwanda Genocide.

International Day for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse/Violence

PAVE is happy to support the first annual International Days will be on September 18 and 19, 2010. The motto for the days and the group is: SOLIDARITY! NOT SOLITUDE!

Numerous group and personal activities will be organised around the world to underline, recognize and acknowledge the plight, the healing and numerous issues regarding Male Survivors.
The Council established in January 2010 has representatives who are male survivors from Australia, Canada, France, India, Italy, Malaysia, Mexico and Latin America, South Africa, United States of America and the United Kingdom. The group has a worldwide membership in over twenty five (25) countries. Inuit and Natives of North America are also represented on the Council. A few women and non-survivors are members of the council as advocates of the cause.

Supporters and survivors who want to join the group may do so by signing up at our Facebook site or our Web Page.



Steve Connell at PAVE event in LA

PAVE is pleased to announce the release of the highly anticipated spoken word CD from poet Steve Connell. All tracks are original pieces and inspired by PAVE’s work to shatter the silence of sexual violence. Limited edition – purchase yours today!

"Steve’s performance at PAVE in L.A. was absolutely brilliant! No matter how many times I hear it, you need to know that it changed my life. Drastically."

"Hearing Steve’s poem was more healing than years of therapy."


Steve Connell is the Poetry Slam Champion and 2003 National Champion (team LA). His work has been featured on a wide variety of media outlets, including ABC World News, Good Morning America, MSNBC’s Hardball, HBO’s Def Poetry (twice), Showtime’s Crossover, MTV’s World AIDS Festival, BET’s Lyric Café, as well as Oprah Winfrey’s celebration of Maya Angelou’s 75th birthday and Quincy Jones’ Lifetime Achievement Award celebration.


Donate today to continue our efforts to shatter the silence of sexual violence in your community!


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